So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
