She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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