when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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