It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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