If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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