Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
