omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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