oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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