Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
