I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this just has baby written all over it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize