I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
