Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
