hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize