he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize