is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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