please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize