He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
