i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
