that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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