Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
