She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
