Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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