great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
