Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
