In the future we'll all be gay
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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