Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
