my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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