He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
