Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
