i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
