Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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