i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
