Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
