omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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