He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
