actually, I'm a sock model
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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