grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
