I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
