Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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