ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
