i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
