i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
They are going to name an STD after you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
