Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I need water and some morals
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
