Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this will be a night to untag.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
