Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
