My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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