how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You made out with two different species that night
You're a waste of cheezeits
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
