Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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