i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
