just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also, beer. Big fan.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize
