Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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