he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
