There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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