After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
