belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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