when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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