because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
