I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
