Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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