summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
A bitchslap is in order.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
