Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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