some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
