just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
