I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
honey bunches of taint.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
